A Modern Haunting: The Horrors of the Millenial Poltergeist

As one can hardly fail to notice, we are living in a blossoming internet-centric age of tweeting, instamodel Millenials who have contributed a great many delightful new facets to society such as billions of selfies, brows on fleek, thot juice, a brilliant new use for the hashtag, and the unifying, friendship-based concept of squad.  However, it seems that human society is not the only one influenced by the Millenials’ world of werqing, twerking and social networking… it seems that we’ve all been a little TOO turnt up, a lil too gah damn cray cray, and have attracted the attention of quite a mess of ghosts, demons and poltergeists who also strive to be “on fleek AF.” Below is the documentation of the first ever modern-day, Millenial poltergeist haunting.  Those who are faint of heart, be warned.  This newfangled, contemporary shit is far more terrifying than any haunting humanity has ever yet encountered…

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First, the Thot Police paid me a visit

 

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AND THEN THIS SICK THREAT

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Hoe hoe hoe…..so mean doe 😦

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And then these stupid idiot ghost emojis opening all of my drawers

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OH GAWD SANTA WHY

 

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Sweet jesus get out of my ice box

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EVEN LEAVING NOTES ON MY DOG WHILE SHE’S TAKING A SLUMBER?!?! Psycho a-holes…

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NoooooOOO!OO!O!OoO!O!O!O

 

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Dagger to my damn heart.

 

…So now I am currently hiding in a fort made out of books, flip phones, dishes that need to be washed by hand, paper newspapers and face-to-face conversation, all of which Millenials (even ghost Millenials) despise.  But I really don’t know how much longer I’ll last in here, so here’s one more selfie in case I die:

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