HEY GANG! Your dreams concerning portable yogurt are all about to come true because Gogurt’s got a mildly unstable, wildly unacceptable new flavor:
Lambent, phosphorescent whirlyswirls of orange, irradiated red, and temperamental yellow/green, this synthetically sweet, exotic blend of debatably natural fruit juices is also enriched with Iran’s excess stock of Uranium, freshly centrifuged and ready to GO, adding that unmistakable eXpLoSiOn of flavor to your Gogurt !!!
“BE CAREFUL! I THINK THAT GOGURT IS READY TO BLOWGURT!!! – A thrilled customer who was screaming with enthusiasm not fear
Limited edition: Get it while supplies last/before we’re obligated to send away our stock of ebullient, frightfully fun
highly toxic chemicals ingredients to Russia.
**This is neither a joke nor hyperbole – your stomach cavity will be host to certain radioactive chemical elements commonly utilized to fuel nuclear power plants. Be gravely warned.