Hae hello holler – I just realized that I haven’t written about life in Francylvania for many moons, so here is a brief update aka what happened to me today, 4/1/2015 or 1/4/2015 <- whicheva tickles your fancy.
-Woke up and sprinted to the shower to make sure it hadn’t been overtaken by another nocturnal ant invasion: coast is clear so far.
-Listened to hAwT gangster jams, entirely inappropriate for 8 am, but who really gives a fudge, amirite?!
-Chocolate for breakfast because why the heckleberry finn not?
-Before French class, threw back a coffee shot served to me in a thimble cup suitable only for ants and Thumbelina from the schoolio cafeteria
-In class: spoke some français like a French G, laughed at/threatened softly under my breath the outspoken British man who continually insists on SCREAMING all of his responses (and various other entirely uncalled for ramblings) – I swear this man will give me a heart attack one day </3
-Picked up my French boiz from school and accidentally listened to a bunch of Lil Jon during the car ride home (my music shuffle betrayed me and kept playing Lil J songs “randomly” Woopssssieeeeees ’twas but a fine introduction to American music culture)
–Lunch time aka fling spaghetti all around, splash some water on the floor and table, throw a lil shredded cheese into every nook and cranny in the world, get into a brawl over the last slice of ham, et voila, bon appétit, brah (PS Dessert involved melting bowls full of chocolate in the microwave, which may or may not be forbidden but I’m a c00L cat and anything involving chocolate is aight with me)
-Monsieur Thib and I watched a Doctor Who episode involving demonic old folks who were possessed by poison-spewing aliens; later, while driving through the haunted woods to his piano lesson, we passed what seemed to be an endless throng of the elderly, slowly making their way through the forest path and we freaked out, imagining them opening all their wide, gaping maws to reveal oozing alien poison-spewers pointed our way. When I dropped him off at the music bâtiment, we gravely wished each other luck and vowed at all costs not to trust any one bearing white hair or a grandmotherly smile. It was a somber and fearful parting.
-Upon returning home, I discovered another disemboweled hedgehog on the driveway (the first of these horrifying appearances was discovered Monday) – we theorize that it is some SICKO cat playing a twisted prank on us, but we can’t yet be certain. ALSO since when do cute lil hedgehogs frolic all loosy-goosey style in the wild?? Does this happen in America because, if so, I was totally unaware of the adorable (though nightmarish if they are encountered in coldly-murdered-left-for-dead form) phenomenon.
-Aside from a gah damn fooligan motorcycle man who almost wiped out in front of my car earlier (though he did escape with his life since I am a stick shift-wielding expert and master of mini vans now), I do believe that sums up just another typical journée of life in Francington. (OH! And no mention of cheese has been made only because we haven’t had dinnalin yet, but don’t fret, the fromage is on its merry, fragrant way as existence would cease to exist here without it).