An Awkward Day in the Life

The entire day yesterday, I found myself responding to people at work in awkward and vaguely unsettling ways.  It could be a product of severe sleep deprivation as I was forced to arise so early in the pitch black, sunless “morning,” that it was my unhappy crowing which woke the roosters from their pre-dawn snooze fests.  It could also simply have come down to the fact that I am just in general coo coo fo’ cocoa puffz (literally and figuratively), but it is undeniable that, yesterday in particular, I replied to people with responses that left everyone feeling a bit confused.  Here are some examples of things that I said to my sane and professional work colleagues:

Host: Is the meeting in 32-C or 31-C?

Me: Yeah!!  (I didn’t answer the question, but the response was full of enthusiasm at the very least)

 

Man walking away with a water bottle: “I found a Fiji water bottle.”

Me: “Great, thank you!”

 

Delivery man: “They put the prettiest faces at the reception desk–what a nice first glimpse of the office!”

Me: “You’re right. I couldn’t agree more.”

 

In response to a secretary showing me a pic of her cat: “He looks like Shamoo.”

 

Attorney walking out the door: “Alright, I’m off for the day.  My mother has apparently broken her hip.”

Me: “OK, have a great day!” (It occurred to me that this was not quite the appropriate response seconds later as I stared briefly into his strained and haunted eyes.)

I found that the solution to this (temporary?) bout of awkwardness/inability to communicate properly with fellow human beings was to head home, eat a pint of ice cream while watching “Millionaire Matchmaker” (Oh Patti Stanger, you keep me young) and pass the fudge out.  I woke up feeling like a tub of lard, but I’ve been at work so far today for about 45 minutes without saying anything too disturbing to anyone!

The moral of this story is, if you are feeling socially awkward or as though you unsettle people with the things that you say, and you feel that you cannot stop, eat lots and lots of ice cream and allow yourself to fall into a deep, deep slumber.  You’ll be just fine.

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4 thoughts on “An Awkward Day in the Life

  1. I had to supplement with wine to get satisfactory results. I must be doing it wrong.

    Store clerk says: Come again.
    I reply: You, too!

    Where’s the ice cream ..,

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